How I'm Giving Up Mommy Yelling - Postive Parenting!

For the past few days, I've struggled with trying to come up with something to give up for Lent. I usually do meat. I've even given up wine once. But this year, I want to really make improvements to my family life.

So, I'm giving up yelling at my kids for stupid things (okay, all things), and adding positive family spirit!

It hit me hard this morning as I was just about to yell at my 11 year old son to hurry up and get out to the bus stop so he doesn't miss it. Some may say I'm not really yelling and that I'm just raising my voice to get him to move faster. But from my point of view, I feel like I'm yelling. And I think he hears
me as yelling.

I find myself yelling at them for things like not taking their shoes off as soon as they enter the house. Here's why. I think it's really disgusting for them to wear their shoes in the house, especially after they played in my backyard. Our dog goes to the bathroom in our backyard. Yes, we scoop it up, but not every day. There is no way that they haven't stepped in dog poop.

My kids forget to put their shoes away every day. And after asking over and over again, I've resorted to asking really loud, hoping they will finally hear me.

Well, I think I've been tackling it all wrong. Raising my voice and asking louder isn't working. In fact, I think every parent knows yelling doesn't work, but at that moment of getting stressed out that is what we all turn to. I am so guilty of it. I yell for them to put their shoes away. I yell for them to hurry up and get in the car because we are going to be late. Yelling seems to have become part of how I parent and I don't want to do it any longer.

Instead of yelling, I'm going to help my kids understand that it really bother's me that they leave their shoes scattered all over the kitchen, and their soccer ball, and their lunch box, and their sports bag, and their toys. Seriously, the list goes on and on and on in my house.

I'm going to share how much it would mean to me for them to take their shoes off as soon as they enter the house. And I'm going to create an environment that helps them to start remembering (and helping) and for me to stop yelling.

Kids want to please their parents and make them happy. And yelling only tunes them out. So instead of constantly yelling at them to help me out, I'm going to try something totally different!

Here's what I'm going to do to give up yelling:

• Instead of yelling, I'm going to look at them in the eyes and talk to them.
• Instead of yelling, I'm going to explain to them why it bother's me about what they just did.
• Instead of yelling, I'm going to help them see it from my point of view. I'm going to explain by putting them in my shoes.

How I'm going to get my kids to remember to take off their shoes:

• I am going to stick a note on the door.
• If they leave their shoes scattered in the kitchen, I am going to ask them nicely to put them away and then they will need to sweep and wash the floor where their shoes laid.

Other tactics that I'm going to implement to help me stop yelling:

• I am going to get a bell or buzzer and buzz it as a reminder in the morning.
• I am going to make sure the television is always off when I talk or request them to do something.
• I am going let them be late and then have them deal with the consequences. Of course I can't do that for my two year old. But I can for my  11 year old and 9 1/2 year old twins. If they want to go to their friends birthday party and be on time, then they need to be ready. I don't mind reminding them, but not 100 times. And I'm not going to get stressed out if they dilly-dally, making themself late. They can walk into the party and explain why they are late.

Living in a house as a family takes a team. And kids need to learn that they are part of the team.

Meet Team Moraja! Mom of four kids!


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Ten Things a Mom and Dad Can Learn From their Toddler

I am having so much fun experiencing the toddler age again! Especially because they live in the present, experiencing the world with "Oooh's" and "Aaaah's". But what many mom's and dad's forget is that their toddler is here to teach them not only about themselves, but also how to have fun again!

Below are ten things a mom and dad can learn from their toddler!

1. Toddlers live in the present, helping you to enjoy every moment that exists. Mine loves to smell and taste everything. There isn't a flower that we pass without her touching it and going "Oooooo". And there isn't a rock that she hasn't tried to have me taste with her.
2. Toddlers mirror (copy) what you say and do, showing you your good habits and bad habits. Pay attention because they can help you improve your speech and your actions. Isabella puts her sunglasses on when she sees me wear mine. And she's always writing and doodling which is something I do daily.
   
3. Toddlers allow you to be a kid again. Dress up, have those tea parties and play in the sand. Let yourself be silly! 
   
4. Toddlers can bring out your creative side. Isabella loves to color. And her little creative mind explores lots of different mediums to color on such as her body and my floor and my bathroom door and the kitchen table and my windows. How fun it is to be a toddler with no worries.
5. Toddlers increase your problem-solving skills. Mine just the other day colored the bathroom door. I now how to figure out how to get it off.
   
6. Toddlers make you realize the importance of sharing. Every morning, I share my breakfast with my little honeybee. And she shares hers with our goldendoodle. 
   
7. Toddlers help you overcome materialism. With toddlers, things will break and get ruined. I've had quite a few things marked up, banged up and broken over the past year. Just last week, I had a beautiful glass candle holder that my toddler somehow got a hold of and broke. I was sad that it was broken, but honestly, I was more concerned that she didn't get cut.
8. Toddlers teach you how much fun it is to laugh and giggle. Isabella puts on her siblings shoes, baseball hats and coats all the time. It's so darn cute seeing her walking around the house proud that she was able to put them on herself.
   
9. Toddlers teach you patience. They are able to create the biggest messes within seconds. And it doesn't bother them that things can be scattered everywhere.
10. Toddlers teach you that the little things in life are just as important as the big things. A hug, a smile and a giggle are the most important things to my toddler; and also her sippy and Elmo!

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